Restless week..

..for the past week, I've went out "vacationing" with a few friends..been to Pulau Pangkor, Ipoh, Bukit Mertajam, and Penang..

Why the " " surrounding vacationing?
..because..it feels like more of a soul searching journey for me than a vacation..
Throughout the whole trip, I was basically reflecting a lot of stuff about myself..and the ppl around me..
*sigh*..and what was I reflecting about??

Hmm..thinking about it now..I've seriously considered a lot of things..even right up till now, I'm still thinking about all those things that I've been pondering..
I've been wondering:

1. What kind of person am I to myself? Am I honest to myself?..to my own principles?..to my own dreams?..am I honest to me?..hmm..I don't know..sometimes..I feel like I'm cheating my own principles..that I'm not living up to my own dreams..

2.What kind of a person am I to my friends?..Do I even have "friends"?..thinking bout this makes me a little sad..*sigh*..Friends?..Have I any??

3.What do I fear?..Why do I fear??..fear..What do I fear??

4. Love..relationships..What does love means to me?..True love?..What is that??..Can I ever be content?..I don't know..sometimes..It feels like I'm looking for something non-existent..I'm looking for too much..and yet..if I give up looking..will it just be so?..a 4 letter word that is thoroughly confusing to me..

5.Who am I?

..and all sorts of questions like that..hmm..you might think I'm a little weird thinking bout these kind of stuff while out with friends...Well, I ain't exactly thinking about it..it just kind of pops into my mind..while lying on the bed..trying hard to sleep..but coughing like mad..

Sometimes...the mystery of life..really kind of haunts me..
I wish I can just take it easy and not think too much..Can I?