Of an expected life

I have been thinking recently about what I should be doing in the near future. Can't help it.
As graduation creeps nearer - although it is still a matter of a year later, but relatively, it is already nearer than last year - I guess I think more of what I should do when I enter the so called "real world".

Thing is, I have been thinking a lot of what I am expected to do.
So much, that sometimes I am left breathless thinking of the expectation people have for me.
Some perhaps realistic. Others might be my own thinking.

Nonetheless, the thoughts of having to live up to the expectation of people makes me feel somewhat ... to put it mildly - restrictive.
And I can't help but think that, if I am going to live for others' expectation, when can I start living for my own?

Thing is, it is hard for us - me to be specific la - to escape from certain responsibility.
Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but there is the "good son" that I have to be. Truth to be told, I will be glad to do that part anytime. If you haven't know, you should - I love my parents much more than anything, and they are the reason why I am doing much of the things that I am doing these days.

But there are also some other expectations to fill.

Some I detest, because I suspect that they have been put there subtly by people.
Some I find repulsive, because I suspect they are there due to what the society has input in me.
Some are just detestable, because they are the small things which I find absolutely ridiculous, but nonetheless part of my life.

The more I think of it, the more frustrated I am with so much expectations.
So, I say.

Screw it all.

To live a life that is expected by 'others' - a life that is a reflection of what 'others' want, not me, a life that is only there to fulfill the desire and wishes of 'others' - is not a life.
It will be a pleasure to fulfill some, but frankly speaking, screw the others.

Do not let me find you subtly trying to tell me what I should do.
=)

I am trying to find out what I should do.
And I appreciate the advice.
But, I know that He will provide the path I should take.
Right or wrong, bad or good - it's up to me.
I will only fulfill His expectation and my parents.

Not you.

Screw the expected life.