Of thoughts censorship

Out of so many posts that I have written, 99% have been published and read by you.
The 1%?
Either I kept it as draft and delete it later at some point, or have been deleted directly after I finished writing it.

Most of the time, I feel free to express myself here.

Sometimes, I have to think before writing.
Unconsciously or consciously, it seems like I am intending to write between the line to "someone" so that "they" may catch a slight hint on what I wrote and perhaps understand my thoughts.
That's why you will feel confuse when reading those "nonsensical" posts.
A lot of time when I look back, I hardly get what I am writing too. I get the "feeling" of it, but can't understand literally those "between the lines" words myself.

A lot of the time, I do this because I want to express my thought without causing too much...should I say hype? Or rather "confrontation"?. Whichever.
I just feel that my thoughts are mine personally. They might not be fully justified nor totally right. That's why if the right person gets the wrong message or the wrong person gets the right message or the wrong person gets the wrong message, it might cause some unpleasant "confrontation".
As you know, I am awkward. And I don't like awkward moments even more.

Maybe even if the right person gets the right message, it will be awkward too.

Thoughts censorship.
In blogging.
I wonder sometimes, how much more longer can I deceive myself?
When I can't even write out my thoughts straight out here.

Thoughts censorship.
And I wanted to be more honest with myself. And you. And everything else.