A break from "vacation"

I have a lot of problems uploading my photos to blogger. Either it's the faulty connection or the lagging connection. *sigh*
So I decided to take a break from writing on my vacation.
And decided once again to write down some of my thoughts here.

This is a sleepless night.
And that's why I am here.
Typing my thoughts down.

Hmmmm..this few days have been kind of "crazy" in a sense.
I have been busy.
Yes.
EXTREMELY busy.
I know..some of you have asked me how was I doing, and I have replied "ok lar..as usual lor..bla bla bla"..but when I looked back..I found out that I was having crazily packed weeks.
And I wonder how did I ever survived those weeks..

And no, I wasn't "fu yan-ing" all of you. Perhaps the busi-ness has become a norm to me..that's why I replied.."as usual lor.."..so yeah..hope you understand that..
Now that I have time to sit down and think about it..I suddenly realised that I have been busy for "nothing".
Cause I feel empty deep down inside.

Emptiness.

Why would I feel that way?
I seriously don't know.
Perhaps it is because of the few "storms" happening around me this few days.
That makes all the busi-ness seems like nothing.

"storms"
Yes.
"storms"

plus some "butterfly effects"
is this the correct way to use it?
I don't know..but if you are reading this..I think you will realise it somehow that I am writing about you..

Oh yes..I am worried..
worried about you..
When did you start smoking?
Have you really become so jaded with things?
Are you ok at there?
I know you are busy..and I know that you don't like people to disturb you..

That's why I haven't chatted with you for such a long time..

Or perhaps it's because I don't know what to say to you?
Or..it's just that I am worried you will find me a nuisance?

I am worried..
When did you start smoking?
I know it isn't a big deal..
But because you mean a lot to me..it becomes a big deal to me..
I know you have your reasons..
So I won't question it..

Do take care okie?
I am worried..

Do take care.

There are also many other things that have been bothering me.
I don't seem to be doing my best.
I am kind of stuck in between.
And I hate it when I am stuck in between.
I either do my best or I don't do it.

So F**K the in between.
I don't wanna stuck myself in here.
Proud Lion of August.

And to you..
To you..
The one who holds my heart..
I hope you realise I miss you much more than you know it..

I think I should be getting some sleep.
Gather up my thoughts.
And face tomorrow with a brand new force.
I am going to create a world of my own.
A world of my own.
You know the reasons don't you SK?

I am going to create a world of my own.
No more confusions and stuck in between.