Who Am I?

Another self-searching?
Another journey to find my inner self?

Well, actually, it's just my own musing..
(yeah..I muses quite a lot of myself, so what if I am self-centered??..EVERYONE am..heh)

Someone told me this before; "I don't think I know you"
..hmmm..actually not someONE, it's a SOMEone in fact..(if you get the meaning, I'm referring to the PLURALS)

At times, I think to myself, Who really knows me anyway..
Well, for those who are really interested in knowing who am I, I guess I can only tell you that, the best person to know me, and who knows me most, besides myself, is MYSELF.

Why?Is it so hard to know me?
Nah..it's just that I don't reveal much of myself to others..
For one, I understand myself too much..
TOO MUCH..to reveal a bit more of myself to others..to let them see who I really am..
I know that ESSENTIALLY..I am a selfish..cynical..greedy..materealistic sucker..
Deep down inside me, that's me..
No matter how much I would want to believe that I am in essence a nice guy..I just know..
I am not..

This makes me hate myself..and humanity sometimes..for turning me into one of them, and for passing me all these craps..yeah yeah..here I go blaming others again..(see..I AM a selfish crap)
No matter how I coat myself, dress myself up, "package" myself..I know I am just crap..who don't really give much of a damn to certain things, but forced to because of "society rules"

That's why I don't reveal much of myself..

The other reason?
I just like my own privacy..
It helps keep me sane..
It helps me acting sane..

So..
Can't believe I typed all this?
Well..babes or dudes..I guess I don't really want to believe in it too..
I still wish I have a halo on top of me..
*sigh*
Cynic