Mistakes, Regrets, Guilts and Hatred.

2005 has probably see me making the worst mistakes I ever made through my 21years of breathing..What's more, I end 2005 with the mistake that I'm entering 2007, and yeah, thanks Da Jie and C.Y for pointing that out, though I already realised the mistake much earlier..

But I was lazy to edit the post, and come to think of it, if only life could be "edited"..I would erase the mistake I make, do things all over again, edit it, tune it, add in "spices"..until I deem it "perfect"..

Alas, life is not a blog..every day that I pass through is not the entry in my blog..where I could edit out words I think are not suitable, filter it enough so it looks nice to be presented to everyone..
Life is more than a blog..
Mistakes could not be edited..

I guess I can only learn from my mistakes, and grow from it. Going into 2006, I hope I can learn better to see the mistakes I make and learn from it..not only to prevent myself from repeating the same stupid mistakes, but also to save myself time from learning things again..and again..and again..

It becomes frustrating to realise how much an ass one could be repeating the old things, and not learning..

Talking bout mistakes let me think about the regrets and guilts I have. There are so much of it, sometimes they come back to haunt me deep at night, while I lay there, turning and tossing, forcing myself to run away from these thoughts, to go to sleep.
What can I do about them?
I seriously don't know..I tried methods and ways to exorcise these demons of guilts..devils of regrets..BUT, somehow they cling on..
..or..Am I the one not letting them go?

I tell myself time again, learn to let go, learn to embrace..

I hope I can.

2005 has make me a more cynical person. That's why the "hatred" in my title.
Towards humanity..Towards the extinction of sincerity..

I hope I can return to be a more trusting person..